Guide to BDSM Toys

Whether you enjoy playing the dominant or submissive role, bondage sex toys can bring some extra stimulation and excitement to your bedroom.

From discreet, handheld devices to luxurious sex furniture, there’s an entire world of BDSM sex toys to discover. And you may be surprised to find that you likely already own some items that can work as exciting sex props for bondage play.

Common Categories of Bondage Sex Toys

Below, I’ll walk you through some of the most common categories of bondage sex toys. Then, I’ll go over some tips for BDSM play and some ideas for DIY bondage props you can use at home.

BDSM Restraints

BDSM and bondage restraints are a good starting point and a common selection for those who are just opening themselves up to the idea of kinkier sex.

Restraining your partner with some rope or handcuffs is a fun way to test the waters and see how you like the world of bondage.


Collars are ideal for dominant/submissive play in the bedroom. You can drag your partner around by the collar to show your dominance.

These collars come in all materials, styles, and shapes, and can be attached to a leash for extra fun.

Ball Gags

This toy is best for people who are more experienced with bondage sex toys or who have tried out BDSM before. Essentially, a ball gag forces your mouth open for an extended period of time, so it may cause some soreness for the inexperienced.

There are some ball gags specifically formulated for beginners. They tend to be made of softer materials and come with holes to make breathing easier. I definitely recommend starting with these if you’re a newbie.


Harnesses are popular because they give the dominant partner something to hold onto in the heat of the moment. Some people also enjoy using them for yanking their partner’s body into a different position during sex.

Some harnesses also come with attachment points that you can use to restrain your partner.

BDSM Furniture

BDSM furniture is just what it sounds like: furniture used for bondage play. This category of sex toy can include fuck machines, BDSM crosses, cages, bondage benches, and sex slings.

As you may have guessed, bondage furniture is more of a commitment than the previous toys listed. For starters, it isn’t as portable, and it will cost quite a bit more.

Due to the investment necessary, I recommend venturing into the world of BDSM furniture only once you’re sure it’s right for you.

Tips for a Great BDSM Experience

Bondage play isn’t something that you should just dive into without doing your research first.

So, to help the beginners out there get started down this exciting path, I’ll cover some important tips for a good experience below:

Start with Dirty Talk

Does it turn you on to imagine being reprimanded? Do you want to be spanked and told you’re a bad girl? If you’re new to BDSM, starting out with dirty talk is a good way to test the waters.

Whether you prefer being submissive, dominant, or switching between the two, dirty talk is a safe way to begin. Then, if you enjoy it, you can escalate to using toys or getting more physical in your dominant/submissive play.

Try Using a Blindfold

Adding a blindfold to your playtime with your partner is a great way to explore BDSM as a newbie.

Being blindfolded puts you in a more vulnerable state where you’re at the mercy of your partner since you can’t see them.

And using sensory deprivation in the bedroom is an easy, fun way to build up some tension during foreplay and sex. When you remove visual stimuli, your other senses are heightened.

Experiment with Orgasm Control

Orgasm control, also known as “edging,” involves getting your partner close to orgasm and then ceasing stimulation so that they don’t climax. You can repeat this as many times as you wish.

Edging not only prolongs the sexual experience but is a fun way to tease your partner and make the final result that much nicer.

There is no cut and dry method for exploring orgasm control. You simply relax and allow your partner to pleasure you as they want to, if you’re playing submissive. Or, tease your partner with edging if you’re playing the dominant role.

Get Some Candles

Not only are candles great for mood lighting, which can heighten the sensuality of your experience together, but you can also explore temperature play with them.

When you’re using candles, you can have your partner drip wax onto your body for a stimulating sensation. It’s best to use candles specifically designed for this purpose since ordinary candles can burn a bit too hot and cause an injury.

Some products even melt into an oil that you can use to give your partner a sexy massage.

DIY Bondage and BDSM Items

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If you don’t feel like going shopping for bondage gear, there are some items you probably already have lying around your home that you can test out.

Below, I’ll list some items that you can introduce into your bedroom routine for some fun BDSM play:

Fly Swatter: If you enjoy spanking and want to take it to the next level, you can use a fly swatter and give your hand a break. Ideally, you’ll use one that’s either new or has been thoroughly washed. A kitchen spatula can also work for this purpose.

Sleeping Mask: If you use a sleeping mask at night, this item can double as a blindfold for BDSM play. It’s even better if the sleeping mask is silk or a similar material.

Scarves: If you have never been tied up before but want to give it a try, there’s no need to dive into the deep end with rope. Instead, ask your partner to use scarves to tie you up. A nice silk scarf can also double as a blindfold if you don’t have a sleeping mask to use.

Ice: Earlier, we mentioned using hot wax for temperature play, but adding ice to the mix makes it even more exciting. You can use ice cubes to tease your partner, running them up and down their body for a shivery and tantalizing sensation.

As you can see, you’re only limited by your imagination when it comes to bondage play and BDSM sex toys. Not only do you already have items in your home ready to use, but on top of that, there’s an entire world of sex toys out there to discover.

Don’t forget that communication is always the most essential aspect of successful bondage or BDSM play.

As long as you’re having fun and being safe and respectful, you can explore your dirtiest fantasies to the fullest and push your limits. Happy bedroom adventuring!

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